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One of the last things my mom said to me was she had always wanted the best for me and for me to be happy. As she knew the last few years have been hard and I just. Had not seem very happy. She asked me what would make me happy and as I tol d her. " its simple mom, I just want someone to love me as much as I love them and to not hurt me the way my ex did. And that I wanted to have the nice Sunday dinners and to just feel safe and not to not be lied to or cheated on " she laughed. Said I always was a dreamer and that I needed to believe that I do deserve the best. And to not settle for being being 2nd best.



Its almost been a year since she passed. And. I know she wouldn't want me to be unhappy. She always loved the holidays. With all the baking and finding the perfect presents for loved ones... just as I do...but I'm just not feeling it. Something just. Feels off....right now... my intuition is always right. And I think that scares me just. A bit.

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atyourwindow
07:26 Nov 30 2009

what feels off?

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doctors........ grrrr...



well the doctor has doubled the treatment drug starting next week... prescribed a muscle relaxer and a pain killer.... but being up here in the cold its just an uphill fight......I just don't know anymore....

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atyourwindow
05:01 Nov 14 2009

*hugs and kisses his doped up rachy*

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LadyDarkRayne
05:42 Nov 14 2009

ah huh.... well then stop making me suffer meanie

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I so can not stand people that will talk shit but then want to be your best bud,,, just saying.

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Lolita
03:18 Nov 08 2009

People who want to talk about me don't bother me at all. I talk about people but never anything I would not say to their face with great ease.



You know what is even worse? The spineless dumbshits who develop a stutter when you confront them. People need to own their words or at least be smart enough to keep their mouths closed.

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atyourwindow
05:13 Nov 08 2009

i wonder who you are talking about dear?

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Spiritwalker
05:18 Nov 26 2009

Sounds like someone is trying to kiss your ass hon..... There are always people in life that think they are the best at everything and trying to make up for what they done wrong. Big hugs tell them to piss off

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